In all my years as a therapist, I have yet to have a client who came for help because they were too happy. Each and every one of them came to me because they were unhappy. When a person’s perception that an important person(s) in their life is behaving in ways that are disapproving or unwanted, they react. They begin to behave in ways for the purpose of controlling the person important to them to make their behavior more acceptable. Even though they may adamantly state that the only person we can control is ourselves, they will, nonetheless, try to control others. Their failure to be able to do this results in frustration, anger, and depression . . . in other words . . .unhappiness.
Happiness is learning how to deal with conflict with others without harming the relationship. Happiness is accepting others for whom and what they are without ever trying to change them. Happiness is having meaningful relationships with the important people in our life. Happiness is developing ways to deal with unhappiness in healthy ways rather than harmful ways more commonly referred to as mental illness. Happiness is good mental health.
"Happiness is Just a Bowl of Choices" teaches the reader how to identify and see that what they have been doing to deal with their unhappiness has only caused more unhappiness and even some maladaptive behaviors. This book emphasizes how maintaining relationships with the important people in your life is a major key to happiness."
"I read it on the train last week and loved it. I found it very readable and it held my attention to the end. l especially enjoyed your direct style in the counseling excerpts, and your discussion on mental health. Your explanations of choice theory were clear and enlightening."
Ivan Honey, Ivan Honey & Associates P/L (